How I Became A Professional Mountain Biker

Notice I left 'Racer' off the title. We been trying to get our ISO 9000 certification at work. It turns out the auditor is an avid mountainbiker. He's from the midwest where the the biggest hills are highway overpasses and the biggest excuse for technical single track is weaving around a loamy pine forest. Well, when he found out I was bike racer, he asked if I had a spare bike and could show him some interesting local trails. Not that we have anything close to work that qualifies as world cup, but we do have a chunk of conservation land with two 100' hills, and a section of mostly singletrack, alternately rocky and rooty, smooth and swoopy. Toss in a few stone wall crossings and you have a recipe for a fun fast ride - unless you're a mountainbiker from the midwest.

So I took him out for a ride. I let him ride my Independent Fabrications Custom Deluxe Ti with the SID World Cup shock. I rode my Giant XTC rigid.

We were out for about an hour, and the guy couldn't stop raving about the trails, "Real Trails" as he called them. I spent as much time waiting for him as I did actually riding, but he's a personable guy so we were able to chat during the ride - in between his gasps for air.

Here's the best part - I got paid for it. My boss told me to charge the time to the certification project.

So yes, I got paid - as part of my job - to go mountainbiking. Therefore, I am, by definition, a professional mountain biker:

Noun

professional (plural professionals)

1. A person who belongs to a profession
2. A person who earns his living from a specified activity
3. An expert.  [quotations ▼]

hmm, ok, maybe not.

But I still got paid to go mountain biking, and you really can't beat that.

more stupid shit and H.N.T.

I haven't blogged in a week for a few reasons. I had what was probably the shittiest weekend I've had in a couple years last weekend, some of it my fault, some of it not. None of it was on the bike, and I didn't even get to ride the bike from wednesday of last week until tuesday of this week. Suffice it to say the highlight was finding a can of Billy Beer for 50 cents at an antique store in Elizabethtown, NY



That said, I really didn't have anything to say that I tought would be interesting, not that anything you ever read here is. So, I've decided to make today an HNT hommage the the Women of Track Racing. Enjoy!

Rebecca Romero

Victoria Pendleton

?

fuckit. Not a track Racer, but cute nonetheless.

H.N.T.

I knew there was something I was missing about mountain biking.......

Thanks to Brie at Assfault

"It Followed Me Home, Mom"

This is what the Fuji Suncrest looked like when I first put it in the stand. The wheels aren't shown, Not that they need to be - you get the point.

(click to enlarge)

I'll post more as the project progresses.

Non - Sequiturs

I found a Fuji Suncrest behind the shed of the New Hampshire redneck I recently bought some decking from. The derailleur was snapped off, both tires were flat, and all the cables were rusted solid. It's a decent 4130 TIG welded frame with forged dropouts. It had a complete shitmano exage LX component group, and what also caught my eye was the Farmer John tire on the front wheel. My first race MTB (Diamondback Ascent c1989) came with farmer johns.

Based on the frame and components, it was probably an entry level race bike when it was originally sold. My web research turns up a vintage of around 1990 - my guess was early 90's based on the components, frame, and rigid fork. I offered him 20 bucks for it - and he actually had to fucking think about it.......It's going to be a project fixed/single speed conversion. I'll post pictures when it's done.

I skipped out on the QuadCycles CX race yesterday because I rebuilt my front steps on saturday, which necessarily require much cutting and lifting of lumber, as well as mixing and pouring of concrete. I'm 48, I decided it wasn't in my best interest to _start_ a 'cross race in pain.

Michael Collins Irish Whiskey sucks......really....(I don't care what these twits say)

And this from Chicks and Bikes.....um.....yeah.....I saw that in a movie once.....

T.M.I. Friday

Then: september 1962

Age: new
Where did I live? Ethiopia
Occupation: enduring burden
Romantic Status: food
My BFFs: None.
I spent way too much time: crying
I spent not enough time: sleeping
I wanted to be when I grew up: no concept
Biggest concern: food
What my biggest concern should have been: food
Fun night out: food and a clean diaper
Dumbest thing I did that year: came out of the womb
If I could go back now and talk to myself I would say: don't be such a dickhead
What do I miss most from 1962: not remembering it
What do I miss least from 1962: n/a

then: september 1970

Age: 8
Where do I live: Binghampton, NY
Occupation: enduring burden
Romantic Status: none
My BFFs: none
I spend way too much time: trying not to get beat up in school
I spend not enough time: minding my own business
I want to be when I grow up: artist
Biggest concern: getting beaten up in school
What my biggest concern should be: not being such a dickhead
Fun night out: drive-in movie
Dumbest thing I did that year: mouthed off to a class mate that was way bigger and way dumber
If I could go back now and talk to myself I would say: don't be such a dickhead
What do I miss most from 1970: not much, it really sucked
What do I miss least from 1970: the whole thing
What did I accomplished in those 8 years that I am most proud of: did well in school

then: september 1980

Age: 18
Where do I live: Ayer, Ma
Occupation: student/lumber yard lackey
Romantic Status: none
My BFFs: none
I spend way too much time: partying
I spend not enough time: studying
I want to be when I grow up: musician
Biggest concern: getting laid
What my biggest concern should be: getting into college
Fun night out: loud music, booze, dope, get laid
Dumbest thing I did year: slacked off in school
If I could go back now and talk to myself I would say: don't be such a dickhead
What do I miss most from 1980: not really caring about anything, and not having to
What do I miss least from 1980: having no direction or purpose in life
What have I accomplished in those 10 years that I am most proud of: won an audition to be part of an orchestra that toured europe, and going.

then: september 1990

Age: 28
Where do I live: chelmsford, MA
Occupation: engineering technian
Romantic Status: married (1st)
My BFFs: still none
I spend way too much time: thinking I was going to be a good bike racer
I spend not enough time: staying in school to finish my degree
I want to be when I grow up: unclear at that point
Biggest concern: training
What my biggest concern should be: staying in school to finish my degree
Fun night out: Loud music and getting laid
Dumbest thing I did that year: didn't stay in school
If I could go back now and talk to myself I would say: don't be such a dickhead
What do I miss most from 1990: great sex
What do I miss least from 1990: every other aspect of my 1st marriage
What have I accomplished in those 10 years that I am most proud of: Didn't end up dead.

then: september 2000

Age: 38
Where do I live: Haverhill, MA
Occupation: Test Engineer
Romantic Status: married (2nd)
My BFFs: wife
I spend way too much time: spending money
I spend not enough time: saving money
I want to be when I grow up: something to do with cycling
Biggest concern: not having the money to retire comfortably
What my biggest concern should be: not having the money to retire comfortably
Fun night out: loud music, get laid
Dumbest thing I have done this year: Didn't save enough money
If I could go back now and talk to myself I would say: Start saving money, dickhead
What do I miss most from 2000: My daughter was sweet, little, and cute
What do I miss least from 2000: My idiot neighbor
What have I accomplished in those 10 years that I am most proud of: Finally got most of my shit together

now: september 2010

Age: 48
Where do I live: Haverhill, MA
Occupation: Engineering Lab Manager
Romantic Status: Married (2nd)
My BFFs: wife
I spend way too much time: surfing porn and not saving money
I spend not enough time: saving money
I want to be when I grow up: still something to do with cycling
Biggest concern: That the US will turn into a corporate-fascist excuse for a democracy.
What my biggest concern should be: making sure we have enough savings to retire comfortably
Fun night out: loud music, getting laid
Dumbest thing I have done this year: spent too much time fucking around on the fucking web
What I think I would say to myself in 10 years: You still didn't save enough money...didja dickhead...
What have I accomplished in those 10 years that I am most proud of: Did manage to put together some semblance of a reasonable retirement plan.

going fast and breaking things

I set what I'm thinking is a good benchmark for me at the local time trial, riding cannibal. I averaged a hair over 24 mph on the 9.75 mile course. I never claimed to be a great time trialist - or even a good one, but I was happy with this. The last time I attempted to set some sort of benchmark on this course was in 1992 - yes, 18 years ago. They've shortened the course a bit since then. It used to be a complete loop of 10.8 miles. Now they start at one point and finish a mile earlier into the same loop, cutting out an intersection that has been fitted with a stop light.

18 years ago my cannibal PR was 26.02,or a hair under 25 mph. This Wednesday I averaged a hair over 24 mph. Intrigued by this, I checked my current PR against my old PR full aero. Again, the difference is about 1 mph.

Is losing one mile per hour after 18 years ok?

I blogged earlier in the week about racing two 'cross races last weekend. One with a heinous loose rocky steep long downhill and the other flat but scattered with roots. I survived the death descent on saturday well, but the roots on sunday weren't so kind, giving my Mavic Classics SSC clinchers a flat rear and a tweaked front. Yesterday I finally got to checking out the wheels. The rear is fine, no loose spokes, completely in true and round. The front though...

When I pulled off the tire I was shocked to see the sidewall creased, folded over inside the rim.

I've fixed wheels with this sort of damage before - quite successfully. I have a ten-year-old set of Rolf Vector Comp clinchers that have conservatively 50,000 miles on them and required little maintenance. I've rebuilt the hubs, trued them occasionally, and in one instance had to pry the sidewall straight after hitting a pothole. You do this by adjusting an adjustable C wrench over the sidewall so there is as little play as possible, and gently work along the sidewall to straighten it. Yes, this works, I've done it on more than one clincher. I finally had to retire the rear Vector Comp this summer after I nailed a pothole while drafting a truck through lawrence.

The alloy on the Mavic SSC rim is considerably less ductile than my other wheels, and when I tried the C wrench, it simple tore the metal. Here you can see the tear along the base of the sidewall, as well as the crystalline stress fractures.

This picture shows the tooling mark, the chipping of the ceramic coating, and what appears to be a separation along the sidewall-rim seam.

I'm not too upset about it, I think I paid $100 for the pair, though I've been telling people I traded a bag of weed for them. The only question is what do I replace it with? I'd like to get something that gives at least the suggestion of an aesthetic match without going nuts on the cost. Black Open Pro rims run anywhere from $70 to $120 depending on whether I want the base level, the CD (Couche Dure, or Hard Anodized), or the ceramic. I'm thinking I don't want to spend alot of money on a 'cross wheel.

Well, that pretty much sucks....

Laurent Fignon succumbs to cancer at 50.

Bernard Hinault said “I only have good memories of him. Even if he was a combative rival on the bike, we shared a lot of good times. I always saw him happy with a joie de vivre even in the toughest of times.”

I’m stylish, in Esperanto!

I was looking for a theme for a blogpost, and thanks to My Favorite Rockstar, I now have one, in Esperanto!

According to her I’m a stylish blogger. I don’t really know what that means, but I have a feeling it doesn’t have much to do with my shoes.

So I’ve been tagged with this ‘stylish’ thingie, and it comes with a task (hey, with great power comes great responsibility…right?)

1. Make a post and link back to the person who tagged you with the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award to 7 great bloggers.
(ok, I changed the rules just a bit)

In alphabetical order, here’s the list of bloggers I frequent – hopefully they’ll pay it forward.

BigBikes

Confessions of an Erotic Masseuse

Introspection Section

Miles and Madness

Single Track Mind
(no specific post here, they’re _all_ good)

Solobreak

The Perfect Draft

2. Seven things about me….hmmm…..I’m gonna give you 8, and one of them _won’t_ be true. Spot the lie.

* I was born in Ethiopia

* I’m a classically trained musician, and toured Europe with a nationwide orchestra when I was 15.

* I went to 9 different schools by the time I graduated high school

* I’ve rebuilt three engines, and done major rebuild/repair on many more. I actually entertained the idea of being a mechanic at one point.

* As a young child I had severe asthma and couldn’t run around the block

* I’ve been a licensed bicycle racer for 25 years.

* My marathon PR is only 3:49

* I’ve been married twice, and was engaged once more.

So, of course, The Ranting Rockstar is the protagonist here, and I could just send you to her front page, but I’m going to send you here

Because, folks, _that’s_ real blogging.

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