Bike Trolling

So I'm looking for a vintage beater bike to set up as a fixed gear, fenders....etc. Good for kicking around town, something with a little panache, but not too banal. For example, I saw an early '90s vintage Taiwanese Bianci Premio - nice looking bike except for the TAIWAN ROC decal, too pedestrian.....Then there was the Torrelli carbon fiber (Alan actually) - too flashy. I was thinking like an 80's Ciocc, Peugeot, maybe derosa, etc...definitely steel, entry level race bike, worn, but not abused or neglected.

So I start digging around on ebay. I see a few interesting candidates - a specialized allez, wow, talk about fucking red; A bridgestone 450! In bright orange! with yellow decals!!!GAAAAD!!!

I do see one that _really_ piques my interest, but I'm not telling you about it until the auction is over. However, here are a few of the more noteworthy frames that I have no interest in, but the ads were too interesting not to share

An old Gitane would be nice....not too overstated....meh, only a 49. I selected the best picture of the bunch for the screen capture, to really show the 'rustic' character of the bike. Note the last line of the ad.

Ahhh, an old peugeot, chrome fork legs, nice color. I had to do some guestimation of the sizing since the seller posted the measurements in inches and from the _bottom_ of the bottom bracket to the top of the seat tube (as opposed to BB center to center or top of top tube). I figured it was about a 60, and the picture kind of looks like it. Too big. Hey, I wonder how much he wants for the 68 mustang with a blue tarp convertable roof and full of trash that he has the frame posed on?

Now we're talkin'....a Raleigh Technium, aluminum, forged dropouts...wait, a 58cm? shit, too big.

OK, this guys a scammer - flat $69 shipping fee with no local pick-up offered, negative and neutral feedback mostly centered around poor packaging, and he uses the excuse 'to save shipping costs'. At a flat fee of $69 for a bike frame you have to skimp on packing to save costs? Not to mention, it turns out the dude only lives on the cape. I'm going to spend $70 on shipping from the cape?.....right.
Then there's his comment to one buyer that he 'bases his profit on the shipping'. On his other auctions he claims no responisibility for damage due to insufficient packing. But then......

oh....
my.......
gawd.......

Also since I'm a practicing Dark Arts Vo*dooist and Satani*st I'm a strong believer in Karma, hence the name bikekarma"."com & while all items are saged/blessed according to my faith, still however, any Negative karma (V.S. Positive) sent my way will be reflected [return to sender;] and amplified 9X usually within 1-2 moon cycles ~ need I say more?..

If however these sobering terms are acceptable to you, I welcome your bid or business.

Yes, that's in his ad. Really. In fact it's in all his ads. Check him out here.

I think I'll put a template in all my ebay ads from now on something like:

"and if thou wouldst practice deceit of any manner upon our transaction I shall beseech my Lord and Savior to smite thee with pestilence and a plague of toads"

or maybe just "don't fuck me you fucking fucks"

"sobering terms".......indeed.....